How many times have you seen a Muslim couple walking through the local mall, she is wearing the hijab, dressed modestly, obviously concerned with, and following, all the rules of Islam which govern our appearance in public. All while her husband is wearing skin-tight designer jeans, a silk shirt, gold jewelry and watch, generally looking like some reality-show reject from Jersey Shore. It seems to me that we men need to take a step back and look at ourselves. When I look around it is almost always men who are criticizing our sisters for failing to wear hijab, for failing to dress modestly, and yet, more often than not, it is us men who are failing to live up to the standards of modesty that our deen sets for us. Brothers, hijab is not just for women, it applies equally to us. Indeed, I would say that modesty is more important to men since we are the ones who set the example for our families. How can we criticize our wives, sisters, daughters, when we will not live up to those simple standards that Islam has.
Let us briefly look at what the rules are for men. First, the area from the navel to the knee, inclusive, must be covered (however, in the presence of women we must adopt a greater degree of covering). Second, clothing must be loose and not reveal the shape of the body underneath. Third, clothing must be of a sufficient thickness and opacity that it cannot be seen through. Fourth, the clothing should be dignified and modest in appearance, not shiny or flashy. Fifth, we should not imitate the dress of people of other faiths nor should we imitate the dress of the opposite sex. A few specific rules for men are that we cannot wear gold, specifically yellow gold, we cannot wear silk, and we cannot wear clothing that is solid red. Very simple rules, very easy to follow, and yet so few of us do. I would like to point out here, briefly, that there are NO rules that say we must dress the way that our brothers in the middle east dress. While a thobe may meet all the conditions for Islamic modesty, it is a cultural adornment, not an Islamic one. Clothing more suitable to western society is perfectly acceptable, provided it meats our conditions of modesty. Brothers, let me also remind you that wearing the beard is a mandatory part of being a Muslim man. Grow the beard, trim the mustace. This is not an optional act it is required of us all. In many ways, the mans beard is equivalent to the fabric hijab that our sisters wear. Of course, clothing is really the easy part of male modesty, of the masculine hijab.
The more difficult part, but also the more important part, is the modesty of our character. Brothers, we must learn to lower our gaze. What does this mean? Are we to always walk around looking at the floor? Are we to hide our eyes from what the world shows us? No, I don’t believe so. Rather, we must learn to control what we look at. First we must learn to appreciate the difference between moral and immoral women. We must learn not to spend our time looking at videos, magazines, ads, that glorify the indecent appearance of women. How can we expect our women to uphold decent values when we show them no appreciation. We must not walk down the street and have our heads on a swivel gawking at every half-naked woman who is strolling past us. We must learn to control our gaze, to control where our eyes linger, to control ourselves, to exhibit modesty in what we choose to view. Our behavior must reflect this concept of modesty. Learn to act with decorum at all times, learn not to be insulting toward our celebrated sisters, learn to treat women with respect, with dignity.
I think that we all too often want to point out the foibles of others and not look in the mirror at our own shortcomings. So many of us have failed to live up to the simple expectations of our faith, yet many of these same people are the first to point fingers at others. Let us not be an ummah that is characterized by ignorance and finger pointing. Let us, instead, strive to better ourselves first, than help our fellow Muslims to better themselves. Let us not tear down, let us build up.
Obviously, this is not an in-depth look at the laws governing male modesty in Islam, rather, I just want to remind everyone that the concept of hijab is universal. Muslim men must learn to take more responsibility for their character, for being more virtuous, more upright, more modest. The dignity of women stems first from the dignity of men. Brothers, learn to be dignified, learn to be modest. Learn to be men.
May Allah, subhana wa ta’ala, guide us on the straight path.